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Why are women straight?

There better be a fingercuffs scene

@Jillzey

So I gave up alcohol and instead eat ice cream. It's probably the same amount of calories

This guy's a fucking asshole

Missing you

@SheaStarrM1 I'm suffering through the cracked screen on the 3GS. Multitasking makes up for a lot;)

Fifteen seconds of pole dancing

There's all this photographic evidence I used to smile. Wondering if all the lame baby clothes fucked me up

My new goal is to drink myself to death. Today.

Picture later.

fuck casinos. Even if they are playing Michael Jackson.

@SheaStarrM1 tomorrow. Promise

Hideous beast

Everyone cross their fingers

Drunken carrot eating. Is there any other kind?

Shaz purr

#thepunisher my first(?) audio tweet?

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TRozM2

SLBTS

Rabo Karabekian's press secretary

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no friends, let's find some!