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Thanks for a jaw-dropping show but please release my brother-in-law! RT @D_Copperfield You have an awesome family!
#BlackFriday gifts! "Too Soon?" T-shirts for the pre-mature ejaculator in your life. http://tinyurl.com/7t6ha47
"Too Soon" for another Black Friday bargain? Buy this for the comedian in your life. Go to RoastmasterGeneral.com
3am black friday bargain hunting on 34th street. Homeless man lurking behind me looks familiar.
"Too Soon" for a Black Friday bargain? Get this for the comedian in your life at RoastmasterGeneral.com
Too Soon?... for a Black Friday bargain? This beauty becomes available at midnite on RoastmasterGeneral.com
Another typical Thanksgiving with my family
Dear @RealGilbert, thx 4 letting me buy u lunch again at Friars Club. Enjoy the pretzel bread hidden in your sock.
Had a great time at the Veterans Day Parade here in Vegas. Now back to sinning.
Fun bumpin into @WillSasso @smokey_robinson @train @RealCarrotTop & a zillion drunkin Haloweeners in Vegas. Burp.
5am in Vegas. Just ordered chile and a cheese danish. I win again.
Just met one of my heroes Ron Kovic at @OccupyLA. He gave me a lift. #OWS
Thanks to @nationallampoon for my @twitter award. I couldn't have done it without @iamdiddy & all 199,982 of you.
Fun nite! "I want to thank @nationallampoon for reminding us they still exist" -@realjeffreyross #nltwitterawards
Workin on a top secret project in my laboratory... More info soon...
Hugs to @Playboy's Miss July 2006 @AlyWaite & her granny, Miss July 1906 for bakin me the best cookies ever! Yum.
Got 'em! Yum! Is your Nana single? RT @AlyWaite happy bday Mr.Sept!!!! I'm gonna bake u cupcakes- mine are yummy
Yo @jordanrubin - Did I dream this or did this really happen?
Hey @Comedycentralnl, I'm havin fun tryin to decipher all the Dutch #sheenroast tweets. You stoners havin fun?
Father Antonio & I toast to our dearly departed pal Uncle Frank at the Feast of San Gennaro! Salute! La Chaim!
Headed to Feast of San Gennaro again. Hopefully I'll see @jimmykimmel eat meatballs & Ernie Barrie play accordian.
Thanks @charliesheen for a fun #sheenroast viewing party... @realjonlovitz #chinning @SteveO @DaveJuskow
Everybody say hi to my bootyguards from the #SheenRoast, Miss @Jayde_Nicole & Miss @HiromiOshima. I felt so safe.
That was so fun I can't sleep. Hey @charliesheen can we please roast you again next year? #SheenRoast the sequel?

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Jeffrey Ross

ON THE ROAD

A BLACK BELT IN BUSTING BALLS

web RoastmasterGeneral.com

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